The best negative review of the film is by Chris Willman of the Los Angeles Times: “…complete with teen wish-fulfillment fantasies, condescending moralizing, asinine musical montages, horrifying pop songs, french kissing, blatant product plugs and Dick Sargent.”
Those are also the exact reasons to love it.
Yes, Teen Witch is awkwardly assembled from leftover post-Teen Wolf empowerment arcs, Hughesian popularity politics, light fantasy rom com tropes, and what middle aged writers assumed then-contemporary music sounded like. It tries so damn hard to be cool.
And funky.
But it’s that patchwork disconnect that still makes this so completely fascinating 35 years later.
You can’t top that. -Pop
Teen Witch materialised on Home Video today in 1989, after an April 28th theatrical release.