If you were a teen in 1984, the marketing probably sold you a Ralph Macchio-starring high school zoo movie. The .38 Special music video certainly encouraged that impression. But if you were over a certain age and Nick Nolte or Judd Hirsch were the bigger pull than Ralph, you were pricking up on the allegory … Read more
C.H.U.D.’s had a rough life. Somewhere between The Simpsons and a Criterion Collection April Fools prank, it became cultural shorthand for B.M.M. Bad monster movie. The sequel, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud, went full-tilt camp and after that, any chance of the original being taken at face value was pretty much flushed. Which is a … Read more
John Carpenter doesn’t usually do fuzzy, warm and tender. But after The Thing got trounced by E.T. at the box office in ’82, maybe JC wanted to make peace with the idea of a benevolent alien jesus. Starman (1984) is his take on that cosmic messiah archetype – a sci-fi road movie where Jeff Bridges, … Read more
For a film that failed at the box office and remained largely ignored by the masses for decades, it’s been gradually resurrected in the post-Y2K nostalgia cycle. Maybe it’s because its vision feels so quaint now. Maybe it’s the sheer 1984-ness of it all. Or maybe it’s because we’ve finally caught up to its central … Read more
If you grew up haunting video stores in the ‘80s, this awkwardly cut-down 112 minute movie length version of Salem’s Lot was all you could dig up. A far cry from the 3 hour Tobe Hooper adaptation that aired in ’79. Whole subplots vanished. Character beats were snuffed. But for many of us who missed … Read more
The Company of Wolves was released on home video this week in 1985 – with a poster that was pure nightmare fuel. One of the more lyrical lycanthropic narratives, this terrific early Neil Jordan film is also a gorgeously baroque all-star retelling of the Red Riding Hood story. To be honest, I fell in love … Read more
Breakin’ broke onto home video in October of ‘84, after a May 4th theatrical boogaloo. I can’t believe it’s been over 40 years. With the exception of Saturday Night Fever, few fad cash-ins have been so perfectly timed as Cannon’s mid 80’s Rap n’ Breakdanceploitation flicks. They dropped right when every school kid in North … Read more
Buckaroo Who? From Temple of Doom to Gremlins to Ghostbusters, that year was a high watermark for big 80s Hollywood blockbusters, but unfortunately Buckaroo didn’t connect with audiences that summer. Maybe it was timing, maybe it just looked too strange, but for those few of us who got the chance to discover it on Home … Read more
Having a love of musical bombs isn’t easy, pickens are slim, and many fall under the shadow of a certain Picture Show’s mushroom cloud. However in terms of pure hard-Schlock entertainment value, little can match the campy weirdness of Forbidden Zone, Strangers in Paradise, The Apple… and one of my absolute favourites, the Pia Zadora … Read more
Alley Cat is a stripped-down, no-frills revenge flick where the streets are mean, the justice system is a joke, and the only thing standing between order and chaos is a pissed-off woman with nothing left to lose. By day, Billie is just a typical young girl trying to live her life. By night, she’s a … Read more