Well, that was a bust. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark crept into theaters today in 1988 with very little fanfare (or box office receipts), thanks to the unfortunate timing of her distribution company going belly-up just days before the film hit screens. Thankfully, New World nailed the VHS release – they had the good sense … Read more
This. This is the movie I use to test people. It’s my way to measure exactly how much chaos, grime, and manic visuals a person can tolerate before they snap, look you dead in the eye, and say, No. Absolutely not. I unabashedly love this all singing, all dancing maniacal roach movie starring Megan Ward … Read more
Box art hallo’ fame: Metamorphosis (1990). Produced by Filmirage and directed by George Eastman (legendary writer and star of many a Joe D’Amato sleasefest, and I say this lovingly), this talkie B Jekyll and Hyde flick might have had some of the most memorable novelty box art on the shelf (with embossing and lights no … Read more
Edge of Honor is First Blood with Boy Scouts decked in military surplus – equal parts coming-of-age adventure and violent survival thriller. Starring Meredith Salenger, Don Swayze and Corey Feldman, who was starting to ride the fumes of his ’80s fame, the movie revolves around teens who stumble upon a stash of illegal weapons in … Read more
Mr Dark isn’t the villain in Something Wicked This Way Comes – he’s just the enabler. The scariest part is watching your entire town queue up for obviously impossible promises while you scream the truth and nobody listens. Ray Bradbury wrote a screenplay that was a strange choice for one of the largest media conglomerates … Read more
Kevin Tenney’s killer puppet movie hit shelves at exactly the wrong time. Released on Home Video in September of ’97, it landed just weeks after Scream hit Blockbuster shelves and completely reset the horror trends. But here’s poor Pinocchio’s Revenge (1996), sat in the horror section dressed up like a Child’s Play knockoff, with VHS … Read more
An oldie but a Goldie. At 13, you’re expected to re-learn everything. You spent the first 12 years of your life learning how to be a kid, and before you know it, you’re in junior high and expected to start the whole process over again. But this time, it’s learning how to teen. Everything becomes … Read more
There’s nothing especially scandalous about I Don’t Buy Kisses Anymore. That’s maybe why it disappeared. Released on Home Video in August of 1992, it’s a minor-key, Woody Allen-lite rom-dram about a man who loses weight to impress a woman, only to realise he may be losing more than just the pounds in the process. By … Read more
Trust him, he knows what he’s doing: Sledge Hammer! first premiered today in 1986 on ABC! Once in a while, network TV would accidentally let something truly deranged slip through the airwaves. Sledge Hammer! is a parody so pitch-perfect in its absurdity, so confident in its audience, that it slammed down the accelerator and played … Read more
We love movies – ALL movies. Every single one has something to say. Each one tells a story but sometimes we can forget that stories are never *just* stories… Before we learned to banish the darkness with fire, we were telling stories to shape and explain our world. We daubed mud on cave walls to … Read more